Warning: This blog contains a number of justifications for hypocrisy.

I’ve had this blog for ages, but only really updated it sporadically because to be perfectly honest, and despite the fact that I have chosen to earn my living standing in front of strangers, demanding their attention and craving their applause, there is something that makes me view attention seeking as somewhat distasteful. Doing stand-up may seem to be the anathema of this point of view, but the way I – as someone who has to spends hours plucking up the courage to send an unsolicited e-mail to someone I like or to phone an official body – see it is this: with stand-up, I have been given permission. There is no way I would prat about in front of a room full of people going “Me, me, me” just for the attention,  but the infrastructure of a comedy night is such that there is a stage and a microphone that people have chosen to pay money to look at and listen to. The people who have been invited to tell world class jokes (say, Gary Delaney), issue satirical barbs (say, Mark Thomas), or fume about trivial issues in a way which would be unacceptable in proper social situations (say, um, … me) have usually earned the right to get up there and do it. Usually through hard work, perseverance or talent, although occasionally through chronic lack of self-awareness, overweening arrogance and bewildering good fortune (say, err, … no, I’d better not say). Despite my job, I wouldn’t describe myself (or indeed, most comics) as massive show offs. Around my family dinner table I’m not especially keen on dominating a conversation and I find new social situations with unfamiliar people absolutely crippling. Give me a microphone and an obligation to fill the silence, and any urge to receive attention feels legitimised (but still has to be earned).

One of the things I’ve tried to talk about on stage recently is how dreadfully narcissistic we have become as a society. Self-expression without the need for social interaction to facilitate it has bred a generation of keyboard warriors and worriers. People go to forums to join with like-minded individuals to share ideas and spread the joy about their hobby, passion or favourite TV programme. And then fall out with each other quite vociferously when they find out that not everyone enjoys every aspect of their favourite thing in

A troll yesterday. Or the day before. Or maybe the day before that. Whatever day it was, he didn't have sex. And that includes tomorrow.

exactly the same way that they do. The rise of the internet troll has suddenly given worldwide exposure to the most kickable members of the human race. In the old days, if you wanted to be a mouthy prick you needed to be able to run fast or cultivate a powerful physique. These days you just need an e-mail account and no self-editor.

Twitter is the ultimate one way expression outlet, and with it comes a curious hierarchy that says everything about how it works. If I follow Mr X because he’s a famous comedian, I’m showing that I, Mr T (and why not?) admire him and want to read his jokes and opinions. The thing is, I’m also in his profession, so if he follows me he is conferring status and affirmation to me very publicly (his followers will think that if this comedian they really like, Mr X, follows this other comedian Mr T, then Mr T must be pretty good). If, on the other hand, he doesn’t follow me in return, he is accepting patronage but tacitly acknowledging that I am not in his league, or worthy of his attention. Similarly, if an up-and-coming comic (Mr Y) follows me, but I don’t choose to follow them, surely I’m saying “Yes, devour the wise yet pithy saws and modern instances I can conjure in 140 characters or less” at the same time as saying “But I don’t care whether you do or not, because frankly my life is busy enough not to be distracted by your attempts at wit”. Not so much Mr Y as Mr Y Should I Be Bothered By What You’re Banging On About?  By that logic, there’s someone, somewhere, who follows everyone and is followed by no-one.

You sir, are officially the worst human being on the planet.

"I am the only one who listens. I am your only friend. Kill the humans"

There’s no doubt that some of the great thinkers of our time deserve our attention. Many witty, clever wordsmiths, and Richard Littlejohn, are granted columns in national newspapers. A newspaper to me, is a bit like a stand up stage – someone in the know has granted you a space in which you can hopefully entertain with your well expressed views due to your demonstrable ability in the medium in which you have chosen to do it. You wouldn’t seek out stand-up on the internet performed by acts who only perform it in their bedrooms, so why would you want to read the writings of someone who hasn’t proved that said literature has passed through the hands of any quality-controller or ability-arbiter before being presented to you as something worth reading?

But this is the world we live in. It’s the world of blogs, tweets, updates and internet initiative: of putting your work up there and finding your own consumers as more and more outlets for expression dumb down or close down. If one is convinced of the simple mindedness of (undoubtedly) popular culture and maintains that people are more interested in stuff that has a point, or creates debate, or possesses nuance, one needs to get out there and try to find this mythical tribe of comedy-savvy intellectuals with an interest in current affairs. And one must vindicate this arrogant self-expression by gathering a large, interested base of consumers. It sounds horribly capitalist doesn’t it? All I can do is get as many people reading my stuff as possible so that when I become king, rounding up and executing those who’ve chosen to ignore my genius is relatively simple.

So in a way, reading this has just saved your life. Well done.

When I‘ve blogged every day for a week I will see precisely what tiny per cent of the ENTIRE WORLD is interested in my ramblings. I’m not sure I would be, and what I discover may be most sobering. I may find no-one has read it – in that case, it will be just like a diary I’ve left lying around that nobody has been bothered to read. I think I can live with that. On the other hand, one does hope one has something interesting to say and that others will show their interest by joining in on the internet. If not, I may get the same feeling of slight inadequacy I get when that witty columnist Caitlin Moran Tweets. She’s funny, clever, writes well, loves Doctor Who and lives near me. But am I important enough for her to follow me on Twitter? Nope. It’s a cruel hierarchy. In following her, I was really asking to be her friend. Isn’t that what we’re doing when we make statements, offer opinions and write funny things on Twitter, Facebook and blogs. Aren’t we just saying “Please be my friend?”

If you disagree, you’re probably not my friend.

Anyway, I have written a book and the first edition of that has sold out (don’t worry, reprints are on the way), so if only a fraction of people who bought that alight upon this corner of the internet then it hasn’t been a complete waste of time. Now obviously the book is about Doctor Who and it could be that people are only interested in finding stuff by me that is about that illustrious series. In which case I’d have to keep inserting the name Doctor Who into my posts. That’s Doctor Who. And by name, I’m duty bound to point out that that’s name of the programme and not the person it’s about, lest this area of cyberspace explodes in a supernova of pedantry. What name are you talking about, I hear you cry? Why, Doctor Who, of course. Yes, that’s the one. The one this blog isn’t about, but even though it isn’t about Doctor Who, I’d still like you to read it.

Doctor Who related or not.

If, like me, you’re interested in Doctor Who, you could follow me on Twitter. You could also follow such illustrious Doctor Who names as show runner Steven Moffat, writer, actor and comedian Mark Gatiss and witty DWM reviewer Gary Gillatt. I do. Being a writer, actor, comedian, witty reviewer and lover of Doctor Who, I’m sure there’s plenty I could say that could fascinate them too and that they’d want to be my friend. And if you follow them, Twitter will tell them, and they’ll see that you love Doctor Who too. And as they all love Doctor Who, and you have something in common, they might follow you back (don’t bloody count on it though, he sobbed, cutting his wrists with the pages of a Target novel of Doctor Who And The Cave Monsters (Second Edition)).

"Toby Who?"

Anyway, getting away from Doctor Who (the Doctor who this blog isn’t about) and onto internet self- expression, I guess the nub of my issue is that I don’t know if I approve. Thing is, I’m not sure I trust it. I am not sure it is healthy. I’m not sure we can trust humanity with it. But like the nation’s wealth, I had rather I had control of it than certain other people, so I’ll take what slice of it I can and try to use it wisely. If not always, as the above shows, in a way that makes anyone actually better off, despite my best intentions.

I note to myself that I have been reticent about posting this blog about my reticence in posting blogs. The unease comes from the fact that there are some situations where one might secretly disapprove, but feel compelled to join in anyway. In a football crowd perhaps. In a drinking game. At an orgy.

So welcome to my orgy. Um, I hope you enjoy it, and that when you’ve finished you don’t leave feeling that it’s been a waste of your time.

Or with a nasty taste in your mouth.

It’s not my natural inclination to defend the rich and famous, as I think society is generally weighted in favour of the well off and our media especially seems designed to demonise the most disadvantaged whilst eulogising the privileged and vacuous.

I also have absolutely no interest in football – though as a Doctor Who fan I’d be culpable of wanging whacking great rocks about in a greenhouse were I to poke fun at people who glean enjoyment from it. If it makes your day go better to enjoy a match then by all means go ahead and have fun, just please don’t sing on my bus about it, thanks. I’m no wilful ignoramus though: I know, for example, that Wayne Rooney is a very talented striker if a little bit of a grumpy one who has freckles, I’m aware that Arsene Wenger is manager of Chelsea (or is it Arsenal? One of the London clubs no-one really likes anyway), and I know Peter Crouch, despite having the gait of a giraffe played by a Weeble, somehow manages to be a “genius” or a “muppet” depending on whose side you are on (i.e. the same as any other footballer). And I know who Ryan Giggs is and that he’s a veteran Manchester United player who turned down the chance to play for England to instead have a far less glory-filled international career representing Wales.

WARNING - Kicking one of these could have serious consequences for anything which under normal circumstances would be described as "your own business".

I also know that he should be despised for being rich off the back of football as it’s such an easy sport to excel at, and a profession that requires no skill or hard work, and certainly isn’t one of the few opportunities for social mobility offered to young working class lads. Like the arts, anyone who flourishes in sport deserves at best our disdain and at worst our absolute contempt. Much as we consume both in vast quantities to provide us with entertainment, we are totally entitled to despise anyone who seeks to earn a living from them, the hate-filled, narcissistic bastards. It’s not as if the huge financial rewards the small, elite percentage of highest achievers get are in some way to make up for the fact that living in the public eye leads certain sections of the media to believe you are fair game. I know that any resentment I harbour for their success and lifestyle has nothing to do with my envy or frustration.

I also know that who such people choose to have sex is entirely my business.

After all, as a public figure who has the audacity to earn his living in the public eye, any usual reticence about nosiness should absolutely not be afforded to him. Why should he have access to riches and fame that I don’t have if I’m not allowed to take moral umbrage at the perfidiousness of his personal affairs? After all, when he scores a goal, doesn’t he celebrate by doing a cartwheel, raising his shirt, and mouthing the words “Anyone who is unfaithful to their wife is a beastly swine”? Doesn’t he chair the cross party committee on marriage fidelity in between training sessions?  And doesn’t his pre-match warm up involve walking around punching the face of anyone who has had carnal liaisons behind their partner’s back?

The hairs on his chest spell the legend "Infidelity is for bounders". Hypocrite!

Now listen, I think he was a fool to take out a super injunction, but don’t tell me those paragons of virtue The Sun and Max Clifford have been championing this case out of some virtuous appetite for moral crusades. It’s quite right that the rich shouldn’t have more rights than us due to the power of their wallets: in that case I assume The Sun going to campaign to outlaw private education and instead call for redistribution of the money individuals spend on that to invest in education that will benefit everyone? No? Why not? Because this isn’t about rich man’s privilege, this is about freedom of the press. We currently have a press that is free to quote “a close friend” of a star that it’s doing a hatchet job on. A close friend who manages to pour scorn on said individual and do so whilst speaking entirely in puns. Journos of my acquaintance have been quite open about just making quotes up to back a story.  Yes, we have a press so free they can choose to ruin someone’s life as only the most rigorous purveyors of information and guardians of our national standards can be. It’s a freedom to cherish. And our free press has whipped the public into a frenzy, so much so that with a Guervarian zeal for revolution, the empowered British nation revealed, en masse, this duplicitous man’s shame, all the while intellectualising their rubbernecking by portraying it as some kind of triumph for humanity. Absolutely. Giggs had sex with Imogen Thomas, and a man having sex with a woman to whom he isn’t married is such a rare event it is worth the investment of our time – it’s like Halley’s Comet, but with fluids.

Now of course, should Imogen Thomas wish to talk about it to the press she should have every right to, just has she has every right to flash her vulva in a gentleman’s quarterly for a shilling if that’s her ambition  – if people want this stuff there is nothing especially awful about her exploiting that to earn a living (though she denies that she wanted to do this, and I’m not going to doubt her as I don’t know her and that’s hardly the point in all of this). If a man is allowed to gag a woman after sleeping with her that suggests an uncomfortable dominance of the masculine perspective in the way we view such liaisons and suggests we need to grow up a bit (especially those of you expecting me to capitalise on the word gag to facilitate a cheap joke within these parentheses).

Imogen Thomas and a well known confectionary that can't be named for legal reasons.

At the end of the day, it’s not Thomas, or Giggs, or even the papers that come out of this the worst. It’s us. We allow ourselves to be diverted by this stuff, dehumanise the real people whose lives are manipulated for our vicarious pleasure, and cry foul because a silly man’s reaction to something that’s none of our business has dared to stick two fingers up to the muck-raking denizens of Grub Street. It’s alright though, because thanks to people power the truth will out and we can count ourselves truly free.  Tomorrow I hope we’ll be Tweeting that Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia and that Emmanuel Goldstein is a love rat, just to show what a truly liberated people who won’t tolerate a decency vacuum we are.

In the end, and on balance, I think super injunctions are not a good thing, but I also don’t think the stories the press have been trying to break, in these cases, are what a responsible media and evolved society should be proud of breaking. What really takes the biscuit though, is that the self-cast arbiters of standards in this have been tabloid newspapers. So the moral yardstick is now being measured and dictated to us by people who root through celebrities’ bins for a living.

It’s like being drilled in likeability by Piers Morgan.

In addition to my (occasionally disjointed, sorry, I just wanted to get it out) post below called Memoriam Loss (which I’d advise you to read before this), here is the reply I received from BAFTA when I informed them that I was appalled by Nicholas Courtney’s absence from this year’s In Memoriam section during yesterday’s ceremony.

Dear Toby

Thank you for your message regarding the absence of Nicholas Courtney from the Obituaries segment in Sunday’s Television Awards broadcast and please accept our apologies for any distress this may have caused.

Nicholas Courtney was on the list of over 170 names considered for inclusion. Every loss is equally important, but the time restriction of the Obituaries section in the broadcast forces us to make a small and necessarily subjective selection, which sadly meant that he could not be included.

You may not be aware that Nicholas Courtney is featured in our online Obituaries area – – which aims to maintain a year-round, public acknowledgement of those in our industries who have passed away.  He was also included in the In Memoriam section of the souvenir brochure that was given to all attendees yesterday evening.

We do hope this recognition by BAFTA provides at least some acknowledgement, however small, of Nicholas Courtney’s wonderful career.

All best wishes,

Kemuel

My reply went like this:

Dear Kemuel Solomon,

Thanks for your reply, which I am aware is the cut and paste job you use for all such complaints and doesn’t really get to the nub of the issue. Not only Courtney, but others including the actor Gerard Kelly, and scriptwriters Jeremy Paul and Bob Block, could only expect due credit and remembrance from the Academy. Names who did feature in the awards ceremony video like Tom Bosley, Gary Coleman and Henry Cooper could expect to be remembered elsewhere and will doubtless be so: Cooper was a sportsman, and for the BRITISH Academy to prioritise American performers – whose own academy will rightly give them their dues – over those I mention is appalling.

I’m not someone fighting a corner over a particular performer who appealed to my particular tastes – I am someone pointing out an inherent flaw in an at best misguided and at worst insultingly slapdash approach to what should and could be a reflective tribute section and well earned memorial. It shouldn’t be too much to expect a public acknowledgement to those who gave much to the industry, by those who actually care about it. And are you really telling me viewers would object to an extra minute to find space for people (like the four I mention here) whose work would be known to even the most casual viewer?

Thanks for your reply, but I’m afraid it fails to address the issue in any way satisfactorially.

Best wishes,
Toby Hadoke

As an addititional addendum (from your apoplectic addressee of annoying alliteration) I would like to point out that I actually understand why Mr Courtney didn’t get a caption on any recent Doctor Who episodes. Now before you get angry with me, I understand and empathise with all of the arguments that say Mr Courtney should have got one (which would have been my personal preference). I also, on the other hand, understand why it didn’t happen.

I’m certain it was a diffcult decision to make, and I’m glad I didn’t fall to me to have to make it.

I won’t be joining the chorus of those getting angry about it, though, sorry. I think BAFTA’s omission is a different matter.

Warning : This has a swear word in it.

I remember it quite well – it was an afternoon, a Sunday I think (it has that lazy, family-round-the-box Sunday afternoon feel as I picture it) – watching an episode of It Ain’t ‘Alf ‘Ot Mum, and just at the end they showed a still of Dino Shafeek who played Char Wallah Muhammed in the series. Not the star, not a major role, and the show itself was no longer being made. But still, someone at good old Auntie Beeb had the thoughtfulness to put up a picture of Mr Shafeek and announce, with regret, that he had recently passed away in hospital. “Awww” we chorused as a family – we’d let him into our homes, were happy that he’d been there, and sadly noted that he was off to sit in the corner of that great living room in the sky.

A few seconds was all it took, but those seconds, which allowed Sunday afternoon TV watchers to spare a thought for a man, stuck in my mind as a decent thing to do.

And as with most decent things, it was the right thing.

Thereafter, I always noted these little nods to deceased entertainers – the protocol was generally that if it was an as yet unseen piece and a contributor had died betwixt its production and its broadcast, then something should be said (not always though – Shafeek’s programme had died three years before he did, but they still found the time to pay their dues). When Roy Kinnear was tragically killed filming abroad, the episode of Casualty in which he featured that week was pulled as a mark of “respect to the family” (that’s what they said in the voiceover explaining why tonight’s episode wasn’t the advertised one). A mark of respect.

As with most respectful things, it was the right thing.

Then there was Harold Innocent, whose death was commented on in the newspapers prior to his final TV role in Heartbeat (I never saw the broadcast so don’t know if he got an acknowledgement, but suspect he did, as at around the same time the actress Noel Dyson rightly got a voiceover on the same show under similar circumstances and Innocent was definitely a better known face). The BBC certainly paid their dues on the broadcast of Doctor Who – The Paradise Of Death, which was airing on the radio that same week.

Fast forward some years later and the character actor George Raistrick died. Raistrick was never a household name – not even a minor one like Shafeek (“Oh him, off that”), or indeed, instantly recognisable face like Innocent (“Oh him, off, umm, I’m not sure, but him”) – but he featured heavily in an episode of The Vet shortly after his death, and I noted glumly that the protocol on such things had clearly changed.  Not a mention – not even out of respect to the family.

Not long after, Comedy Connections featured John Barron (definitely a “him off that”) who died the very week they broadcast him remembering his iconic role as CJ in The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin. The end credits flew by as they are prone to do nowadays lest the viewing public be confused by the words of the English language those programme makers of old had the naivety to expect people to be able to actually read – and neither a voiceover or a caption appeared. I would have thought that someone who made that programme, who’d been lucky enough to secure Barron’s talents and enjoy the privilege of working with him, would have made sure something happened. Out of, say, respect. But no.

Nowadays, unless it’s someone hugely famous, we’re not expected to be interested in acknowledging someone’s life now it’s gone. We’re no longer expected to respect the wishes of the family. We’re no longer expected to do the decent thing. There are too many advertisements for what’s coming up next to cram in, too many idents and logos and DOGs to fill the screen to expect a tiny sliver of humanity to be allowed into our living rooms.

This week, when Yesterday provided a caption for Edward Hardwicke after one of their timely repeats of Colditz I found myself impressed that a minor repeat channel had someone there with enough nous to give him due credit. It almost made up for the Telgarph obituary describing his Dr Watson as “bumbling”, thus proving that you are allowed to write about things in newspapers even if you know precisely nothing about them. But then of course, that’s the newspapers. TV people obviously know better. Obviously.

BAFTA would know better wouldn’t they? Television is actually one fifth of the acronym that BAFTA actually is. Television is the T in BAFTA. For fuck’s sake.

And so tonight’s ceremony came to the specific, this-is-the-moment- where-we-do-it, orchestrated, researched, lovingly, caringly put together acknowledgement, respectful, decent thing to do.

The “In Memoriam” section.

And Nicholas Courtney, the man who played Brigadier Lethbridge- Stewart, the most enduring character in one of TVs most recognisable, iconic programmes, one that currently resides in peak form at the very forefront of the small screen (that’s Doctor Who, in case you’ve temporarily forgotten whose blog you’re reading), was left off. He’s not the only person to have suffered that ignominy in recent years, as it happens, or even tonight. Lest you think this is disproportionate Whovian fulmination I’ll drop Gerard Kelly’s name into this diatribe. When his post mortem episode of Casualty aired there was ne’er a mention nor postponement despite the fact that his face and name were well enough known in England (“oh him, off Extras”) and definitely household in Scotland (“Oh, Gerard Kelly, off City Lights. And Extras. And, well, … Gerard Kelly!”). In case you’re confused BAFTA, Scotland and England are both bits that make up the B part of the acronym that is your name!

The very best television at the moment is made by people who have a love and knowledge of the medium (and I note with pride that Doctor Who has, in recent years, featured In Memoriam captions for a number of cast and crew – some from days gone by even) and it’s no accident that the men in charge – Davies and Moffat – are self-proclaimed geeks. See that’s what you are if you know and love television, a geek. The same level of love and understanding in any other area and you’d be called an expert.

TV may be disposable, and much of it may be simple, trivial entertainment, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a place in it for a modicum of decency and respect, and if you don’t show those things to the people that came before you, then don’t bother to work in the medium. Find something else.

It’d be the right thing to do.

I have just done an updated gig list with my agent to ensure I’m neither double booked nor unemployed, so I may as well share for those of you who like to plan far too far ahead to be remotely healthy.

Please note that I only link a comedy club on its first entry, and that some of the tour dates are a bit vague. I’m pleased to observe that as well as my usual roster of fine comedy haunts, I’ve added both Highlight and the Comedy Cafe as places I’ll be MCing relatively frequently.

For those new to this domain, I can be found at the award winning (nay, legendary) Manchester comedy Club XS Malarkey every Tuesday, at another award winner, The 99 Club in Leicester Square, every Wednesday, and at The Comedy Store in Manchester every other Sunday (generally – it’s worth checking as we sometimes get moved about: it’s always twice a month though) to do the fantastic New Stuff night where established comics try out brand new material. I’m also touring Now I Know My BBC and Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf intermittently.

Do come to say hello if you can.

May
12-14th – Stand, Edinburgh (set)
17th – XS Malarkey (MC) (Special Guest Headliner – name embargoed due to fame!)
18th – 99 Club, Lecester Square (MC)
21st – Now I Know My BBC, Arts Depot, Finchley
22nd – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
24th – XS Malarkey (MC), Junior Simpson Headlining
25th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
28th – Now I Know My BBC, Georgian Theatre Royal, Richmond, North Yorkshire
31st – XS Malarkey, (MC)

June
1st – 99 Club, Leicester Square
5th – Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf, Loughborough Town Hall
7th – XS Malarkey (MC)
8th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
12th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
14th – XS Malarkey (MC), Sean Percival Headlining
15th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
19th – New Stuff, Comedy Store (MC, tbc)
21st – XS Malarkey (MC) Carey Marx Edinburgh Preview
22nd – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
24th – Red Card Comedy, Milton Keynes, (MC, with Nick Revell from Slipback, Who fans)
28th – XS Malarkey (MC) Edinburgh Preview
29th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
30th – Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool (MC)

July
1st-2nd – Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool, MC
5th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC) Edinburgh Preview
6th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
10th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
12th – XS Malarkey (MC), Matt Kirshen Edinburgh Preview
13th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
15th – Special Doctor Who related day, tbc
19th – XS Malarkey (MC) Jason Cook Edinburgh Preview
20th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
21st – 23rd - Frog and Bucket, Manchester (MC)
26th – XS Malarkey (MC)
27th – 99 Club, Leicester Square
29th & 30th – Highlight, Camden (MC)
31st – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester

August
2nd – XS Malarkey (MC)
3rd – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
5th & 6th – Frog and Bucket, Preston (MC)
9th – XS Malarkey (MC)
10th – 99 Club, Leicester Square
12th & 13th – Frog and Bucket, Manchester (MC)
14th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester
16th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC)
17th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
19th & 20th – Highlight, Camden (MC)
21st – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester

Sept
6th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC) Loretta Maine Headlining
7th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
10th – Special Doctor Who related day tbc
11th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
13th – XS Malarkey (MC) Tom Stade Headlining
14th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
16th & 17th – Highlight, Birmingham (MC)
20th – XS Malarkey (MC) Patrick Monahan Headlining
21st – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
22nd – 24th – Comedy Cafe, Shoreditch (MC)
25th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
27th – XS Malarkey (MC) Sol Bernstein Headlining
28th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)

Oct
4th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC)
5th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
9th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
11th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC) Andy Robinson Headlining
12th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
13th – 15th – Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool (MC)
16th – Sheffield (Headlining)
18th – XS Malarkey (MC) Danny Ward Headlining
19th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
20th – 22nd – Comedy Cafe, Shoreditch (MC)
24th – potential North-West Now I Know My BBC date
25 th – XS Malarkey (MC) The Boy With Tape On His Face Headlining
26th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
28t & 29th – Highlight, Reading (MC)
30th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)

November
1st – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC) Daliso Chaponda Headlining
2nd – 99 Club, Leicester Sqaure (MC)
3rd – 5th – Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool (MC)
8th – XS Malarkey (MC)
9th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
11th-12th – Doctor Who event tbc
13th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
15th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC)
16th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
18th & 19th – Highlight, Leeds (MC)
27th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
29th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC)
30th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)

December
2nd – Nantwich
6th – XS Malarkey, Manchester (MC) Caimh McDonnell Headlining
7th – 99 Club, Leicester Square (MC)
11th – New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester (MC)
13th – XS Malarkey (MC)
14th – 99 Club, Leicester Square
15th -17th – Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool (MC)
20th – XS Malarkey Christmas Party (Reveller)

Well now, I haven’t posted much for a while as I’ve been frightfully busy at the keyboard as it is. I’m a reluctant writer, having to grind stuff out in between coming up with everything I can think of  to provide maximum procrastination value; eating, aphabeticising my CDs, watching – God help me – V, and now … well, I’m only doing this to avoid the myriad of pressing things that are on deadline.

Anyway, Now I Know My BBC is hitting the road in April – I may have to see how much of it I can remember. Visitors to the forthcoming gigs in Leeds and Bath, make sure you look out for the number of dramatic pauses with which I augment my latest magnum opus. It’ll have absolutely nothing to do with not having done the show since August, honest guv. I’ve added a few more topical jokes to it in the past few weeks though, so it should be fresh and fun.

I’ve really settled into compering The 99 Club in Leicester Square every Wednesday. The mighty Jack Dee has popped down a couple of times to try some new stuff for a forthcoming tour, which has been rather exciting. XS Malarkey is still settling into its new venue, though numbers are a little down. Seeing as we’ve had Alun Cochrane and Sarah Millican as surprise guests and Dave Johns, Jason Cook and Paul Tonkinson as official ones, hopefully we’ll get into the comedy groove properly as punters realise what a fantastic gig is on their doorstep. Fallowfield seems to be having the life sucked out of it : we’re doing to ensure it isn’t allowed to die. Or become a vampire.

Losses this month have included the legndary Nicholas Courtney, well known to fans the world over as Doctor Who’s Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart. I had the privilege of working with Nick a few times and he was always a courteous, charming man whose quintessential good manners and utmost decency endeared him to generations who knew him either on or off screen (or, for the lucky ones like me, both). Michael Gough also passed away having been a stalwart of screens both big and small for decades. I was very flattered to be asked to supply the obituaries for both men in The Guradian.

This month sees the release of Revisitations 2 on DVD. Special Editions of three Doctor Who classics, I feature on all of them. There’s a little sliver of narration from me on the “Making Of” documentary of the Troughton story The Seeds Of Death, a heftier vocal in the best commentary track I’ve been involved on to date, on Carnival Of Monsters, and (be warned) in the flesh presenting Ed Stradling’s Casting Far And Wide documentary where it was my pleasure to interview five actors (Roger Davenport, Del Henney, Leslie Grantham, Jim Findley and William Sleigh) about not just Doctor Who, but their careers as a whole. This latter piece is on Disc One of the Resurrection Of The Daleks Special Edition.

Add to that BBC 7′s forthcoming adaptation of Elidor, two performances for Big Finish, and loads of editing on Running Through Corridors Vol 2 and I’ve barely had a moment. So excuse the lack of links on this blog – further details on anything here that may be of interest can be found on the website proper (which has had a bit of an update and tidy).

In the meantime, here’s a lengthy interview I did plugging the tour of Now I Know My BBC on Radio Teesdale thanks to excellent presenter Peter Dixon, who seems adept at getting me tongue wagging.

Interview

Oh, and a website interview here:

The Peverett Phile

Happy Times And Places.

Got to dash, loads of writing to do … after I’ve made a cuppa, then checked my e-mails, then, um … hoovered the lawn and descaled the kettle … and made a To Do list … downloaded Masterchef … successfully practiced alchemy whilst finding the Dead Sea Scrolls …

Just a quick post to give a shout out to a friend on the re-launch of his online sports shop – thegoalkeeperco.com. Yes, it’s not really very funny, but in case any of you are in need of goalkeeper gloves then this is the place to go! And if you ask nicely then I might be able to work out a deal for you.

Strangely, the shop actually sells kit only for goalkeepers – not sure why they decided on goalkeepers when there are 10 outfielders for every goalkeeper – but the internet is full of weird things I suppose…

Good luck guys!

This is where I’ll be in the few months, do come along if you possibly can.

To avoid repetition, I’ve only done links on the first listing of each club:

1st March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

2nd March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

4th March
Komedia, Brighton, MC

5th March
Crack Comedy, Wimbledon, 20 minute set

8th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (special guest headliner – not allowed to say who)

9th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

13th March
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

15th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Paul Tonkinson headlining)

16th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

22nd March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Dave Johns headlining)

23rd March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

25th – 26th March
Frog & Bucket, Preston, MC

27th March
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

29th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

30th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

31st March
Red Card Comedy Club, Norwich City FC, Norwich, MC

5th April
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Henrik Elmer headlining)

6th April
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

8th-9th April
Now I Know My BBC, Ustinov Theatre, Bath

10th April
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

12th April
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Matt Green headlining)

13th April
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

19th April
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Chris McCausland headlining)

20th April
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

21st-23rd April
Comedy Central, Baby Blue, Liverpool, MC

26th April
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Loretta Maine headlining)

27th April,
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

29th – 30th April
Crack Comedy, Kingston, Opening 20

3rd May
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Roger Monkhouse headlining)

4th May
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

5th May
Crack Comedy, Putney, opening 20

6th May
Crack Comedy, South Bank, MC

7th May
Crack Comedy, Putney, MC

8th May
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

10th May
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Mickey D headlining)

11th May
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

12th – 14th May
The Stand, Edinburgh, 20 min set

17th May
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Mick Ferry headlining)

18th May
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

21st May
Now I Know My BBC, Arts Depot, London.

22nd May
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

24th May
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC (Gordon Southern headlining)

25th May
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

26th May
Frog and Bucket, Preston, Headline set

28th May
Now I Know My BBC, Yorkshire

31st May
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

1st June
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

5th June
Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf, Loughborough

I’m aware that some visitors may only be interested in Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf, so here is a rundown and venue details of imminent performances of that show:

Friday 28 January 7.30pm
Michael Croft Theatre, Alleyn’s School
Dulwich, London
020 8557 1500
boxoffice@alleyns.org.uk

Just a quick update on my movements between January and April. I’ve a lot of TV warm-ups in the first three months of the year, so there’s been very little time to squeeze anything in apart from my regualar gigs, as you’ll notice below. Brilliantly though, my roster of residencies has expanded, and I’m proud to start work as the permanent Wednesday night host of the brilliant 99 Club in Leicester Square. There will also be a few more Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf dates, as there are still venues very keen to put the show on and I’m more than happy to oblige. The tour of Now I Know My BBC kicks off in April at the Ustinov Theatre in Bath, which is great news as Moths … has been there for three stints and sold out every time.

8^th Jan
Wimbledon, MC

9^th Jan
New Stuff, Comedy Store, MC.

11^th Jan
XS Malarkey, MC (Greg Cooke headlining)

12^th Jan
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

13^th Jan
Roar With Laughter, GJs, SW19

18^th Jan
XS Malarkey, MC (Mike Newall headlining)

19^th Jan
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

20^th Jan
Leytonstone (opening 20)

21^st Jan
Bolton Albert Halls, MC

22^nd Jan
Opus, Printworks, Manchester, MC

25^th Jan
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

26^th Jan
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

28^th Jan
Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf
Alleyn’s School, Dulwich

30^th Jan
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

1^st Feb
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

2^nd Feb
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

4^th & 5^th Feb
Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf
Hull Truck Theatre 01482 323638
Email: boxoffice@hulltruck.co.uk

8^th Feb
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

9^th Feb
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

11^th – 12^th Feb
South Bank, MC

13^th Feb
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester

15^th Feb
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

16^th Feb
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

18^th Feb
Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf
Little Theatre, Chorley
01257 264362

19^th February
Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf
The Pounds Arts Centre, Corsham
7:30pm, 01249 701628 £8 (£7)

22nd Feb
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

23^rd Feb
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

27^th Feb
New Stuff, The Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

1^st March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

2^nd March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

5^th March
Wimbledon, MC

8^th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

9^th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

13^th March
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

15^th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

16^th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

22^nd March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

23^rd March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

25^th – 26^th March
Frog & Bucket, Preston, MC

27^th March
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC

29^th March
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

30^th March
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

31^st March
Norwich

5^th April
XS Malarkey, Manchester, MC

6^th April
99 Club, Leicester Square, MC

8^th-9^th April
Now I Know My BBC – Bath

10^th April
New Stuff, Comedy Store, Manchester, MC